Our Baby

So in my last post I mentioned some ups and downs… I feel my Baby Boy deserves and entire post dedicated to him. On October 3rd, we lost our first born… He was 13 years old. He wasn't a human baby, but he was our baby. When we got him, he was too young to be taken from his biological mama, but the person was eager to get rid of him…he was the runt of the litter. I was 18–I knew nothing about puppies, or babies…But I took him, and my husband and I bottle fed him, and helped him grow into a handsome, strong and healthy little boy. He stole my heart, he was a great listener, a great cuddle buddy, and he was one of my best friends. Recently he had been declining in health and I knew our days together were numbered. My husband had warned me that he hadn't been acting himself, and he thought the time was near. On the day he passed, I came home from work and cuddled up with him, he hadn't moved all day, I knew in my heart this was our last day together–he'd cry to get up and he couldn't make it outside to relieve himself. Between the sheet changes (he had his own bed–picture a crib mattress with cute sheets), and the tears I was able to be with my baby in his last hours, he died in my arms. I lost part of my heart on October 3rd– with his passing, I miss him terribly, I try not to dwell on the fact that his isn't here. He is heaven running around, I just know it. He was such a loving boy. What I wouldn't give to clean up one of messes, or be nudged in the middle of the night to let him out. Unbeknownst to me (according to my husband) he used to come check on me in the middle of the night (not just when he had to go to the potty). They say with time it gets easier, I think that's partially true–the cuts not as deep, but in a way I think it gets more difficult, because the longing to see him gets greater.

To my baby:
I wasn't ready to see you run to heavens gate.
But God, he just couldn't wait.
I know he had a job in heaven for you to do.
And you, you were just waiting for your cue.
I cherish every moment we shared, there were lots of good times and for that I am glad.
The passing of you has left me so sad.
I will love you forever, and in my heart you will stay.
I will see you again one day!
Until we meet again my sweet baby boy ❤️
– JKHB

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